Marilee Adams


Amy Holdsman, 21/64 Trainer, President & CEO, Essential Leadership Coaching for Purposeful Engagement and Social Impact


Change Your Questions, Change Your Life is an essential book for those in the business of helping others. I have found in my work as a coach that the key to success is not knowing the answers. The key to success in a coaching relationship is asking the right questions. The underlying premise of this book is to ask more and tell less.

The book uses a fable, just one example of a coaching relationship to show a significant shift in the client’s behavior through the implementation of question thinking. This example is the basis of the book and is an effective illustration. In my experience, breakthroughs in leadership, coaching, and life come through asking the right questions.

I have taken away a few key elements from reading this book that supports my work with clients who seek more purposeful engagement in the community and in the world at large-

  • Question Thinking- a system of skills and tools using questions to expand how you approach virtually any situation. Ultimately, question thinking provides a foundation for making wiser choices. The book offers 12 useful tools that can be implemented immediately.
  • The Choice Map- The Learner Mindset vs The Judger Mindset. One of the key differences between judger “mistakes are bad” (win/lose) and learner “mistakes are to learn from” (win/win) is attitude. The author offers suggestions for how to switch lanes to create a mood of optimism, hope and possibilities. Readers of the book are offered a free download of the map for future use with clients.

Change Your Questions, Change Your Life is practical, accessible, a quick read, and instantly implementable. I found this book to be particularly relevant and think of a common scenario when people try the same things over and over again and wonder why they don’t work. I often refer to the saying  “What got you here won’t get you there”. A profound insight that I took from this book is that a question not asked is a door not opened.  Effective question thinking and use of the choice map will help create more win-win situations for readers of this book and those who choose to implement its valuable suggestions. I began to use them immediately with my clients and it has already made an impact in their work, relationships, and life.